Unfriended

I woke up this morning to find that I'd been unfriended by someone on Facebook. I assume that's what happened anyway because I went to see if he responded to my comment on his post and he just doesn't exist on Facebook at all. I think that means that he's blocked me from seeing him, not that he's deleted his account. That would be silly.

He posted something controversial about a VERY controversial topic. I happen to have another friend who just had a tragic experience that (I thought) put this controversial topic in a new light. So I commented. Guess I should have held my tongue instead of trying to stand up for a woman who had just been hurt?

Don't worry that you can't tell me what I should or shouldn't have done. I can't say any more without revealing more than I am comfortable with about my actual friend (who I've only met online). I felt she didn't need to have this bullying status flying around Facebook to potentially land in her news feed without someone standing in her corner. So I stood. And someone that I casually knew in real life years ago decided that he couldn't stand for me to see his statuses and he no longer wanted to see mine. Not much of a loss, except that it bothers me any time a person who claims to be a Christian, to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, is intolerant. He was not tolerant or considerate of the feelings a others. He was harsh and cruel and I don't think he knew it. I guess this post is just because I wanted the conversation to continue, he cut it off, and I can't resist getting in the last word.

No, I just want to write/post more. That's the ticket. Heh.

Why I'm No Longer a Totes/Isotoner Customer

Thanks to Loralee's (@looneytunes) tweet today, I just found out about a wrongful termination case in the state of Ohio. The Supreme Court of Ohio has ruled that breastfeeding is unrelated to pregnancy and, therefore, a woman who was fired for taking breaks to pump milk for her baby was not wrongfully terminated.

You can read the post that Loralee's tweet sent me to at Writes Like She Talks. Enjoy, and don't forget to not give this company any more of your hard-earned dollars.

Saving Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

I should have written about this before but can't find that I have (shame, shame). I found this blog last year that is devoted to saving the program Mister Rodgers' Neighborhood (MRN) for generations of children to come. Talk about a worthy cause!

I have such fond memories of watching that show. The feeling of peace, acceptance and love is one I treasured greatly when I was young; I returned to watching it eagerly when The Biscuit was a newborn. I assumed that message would be available for him to hear for himself when he was old enough. Guess I was wrong.

PBS says they can't afford it. I especially like this paragraph from the current post:

While we can certainly empathize with PBS’ financial situation, surely, someone there must realize that nothing on their current schedule comes even remotely close to MRN in terms of affective development. But then they have to compete with popular cable programs like Yo Gabba Gabba — a creatively brilliant show, but one that is essentially crack for the toddler attention span.

That's right, "crack for the toddler attention span." I've never seen Yo Gabba Gabba (we don't have cable), but who needs that?

Apparently the powers that be haven't released the episodes on dvd either. At this point we are left with a campaign to get the shows released that way. I'm going to write to Family Communications (their contact page is here) and let them know how I feel. And next week when we are at the library I'm going to ask the children's librarian if she'll get involved.

I'VE HAD IT! (Post full 'o bile)

I'm so stinking tired of reading online that I'm not welcome someplace with my double-wide stroller!  I know I'm hormonal right now (not pregnant... this month), but it is SO rubbing me the wrong way.  I shopped really hard to find us something that would make the kids happy (sitting next to each other) and would still be useful (i.e. no wider than a wheelchair so we can go thru single-sized doors).  Everytime I see these comments wishing that double-wide strollers would be banned at the Portland Farmer's Market the Mama Bear in me just gets furious.  I saw it on Twitter (specifically a Yelp guy -- that was a while ago so I'm sure the Tweet is gone by now), then on Dave Knows: Portland, and now OurPDX.  Just which of these things are they trying to tell me?

• If you have to keep your almost-4-year-old in a stroller then you're a bad parent. He should be under control and able to walk along side you. Oh, he has Down syndrome? Oh. (That's when I see the thought bubble over their head wondering why I didn't do what the other 90% of women do and abort him. Because disability is part of the normal human condition! He's not a thing to be pitied or that should have been "put out of his misery" or "spared" from having to live. He's a wonderful little boy with a great sense of humor and I thank God that I get to be his mom.)
• If you already had this kid with special needs, why did you have another kid? (Uh, cuz sometimes married couples celebrate and, well, sometimes pregnancy results. Did you not take health class in school? Besides that, the plan was a family of 5 so we *did* back off.)

Most people that talk to us think my kids are twins. What if they were? Should I have given one up for adoption so as not to burden your day with a double-stroller?

So here I am with 2 toddlers that I love and DO NOT REGRET HAVING and you think that means that I should stay in my house and out of your precious little way?  No!!!  We are a part of your community and that means that we are out in the community doing things and living life.  You need to get off your high horse and stop looking down your nose at us. Say "Hi!" We're friendly and enjoy meeting new people. Quit picking on me, my kids and my G-D stroller!  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Hopefully this will get the bile out of my system and I can stop leaving comments saying a MUCH milder form of this on other peoples' blogs.  (Sorry, Dave.)

Hey, my baby's still in that bathwater!

I know that there are far too many c-sections nowadays.  I know that there are moms who schedule a whole package and the tummy tuck is done before the c-section is closed up.  But that doesn't mean that c-sections are never required.  Without one, without the heart monitor that showed he needed one, there would be no Biscuit.  So, as I commented on the post over at Mom's Rising, take a second to mention that you don't think ALL c-sections are unnecessary and that for some mamas and babies they are lifesaving.  Because when I read posts like this what I hear is "Sorry, but c-sections are just money makers for the doctors. Your baby should have died."  I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and admitting that she probably didn't mean that, but the proof is in her future posts. Will those of us who have our children thanks to c-sections get a little nod, a little credit for doing the right thing, instead of just being looked at as poor dupes of the system?

Stupid mommy wars.

I'm quoting my comment here, but it probably makes more sense to go read the post it's a response to over there.

Because I had a fine pregnancy and didn't want invasive prenatal testing, we had no idea that our son had a major heart defect and Down syndrome -- but he did. Our first inkling that something was wrong was what his heart monitor showed when I had a contraction. It is a fact that without that monitor and the c-section it showed he needed (not me, him) he would have been stillborn because his defective heart could not have handled labor and delivery.

Please remember that when you rail against the medical establishment sticking their noses into a natural process like birth you are telling moms like me that our kids should have died. I'm not saying that you think that; I'm saying that when you are silent about the lives saved you are in effect saying that. Please take a moment and a line or two in your future posts to acknowledge that some of us have our precious children *thanks* to baby monitors, c-sections, and very caring doctors.

Believe me when I say that for the most part I agree with what you have written. By making monitoring a standard policy unnecessary c-sections will happen because some doctors are more worried about malpractice than actually doing the best thing for the patient(s) in front of them, as backward as that sounds. All I'm asking is that you not throw the baby out with the bathwater because that's *my* baby and I love him.

Hey, Medical Profession! Look at this!

Enjoy! I sure did. Thanks, Jennifer, for sharing this in your post. This is the kind of thing I like to see spread around the net virally.





Updated to add a title because I'm a twit that clicks Publish too fast.

Patrick Thibodeau's Basketball Game

I hope you like this as much as I did. Needed a tissue at the end though, even after I'd seen it a few times.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I love the way his teammates treat him like a teammate, not someone to be pitied. *That's* what it means to be a part of the community.

Feel free to Google his name and find more copies of the video. I found a nice article on Deadspin but the comments, for the most part, were not something I enjoyed reading. Jokes about "Down's" that I wouldn't suggest anyone should expose their eyes to. So, Buddy Walks still have more work to do. On my to-do list: contacting whoever runs Deadspin about sponsoring a Buddy Walk next fall.


Updated to correct my poor grammar!

Happy Early Mother's Day to the Congresswoman from Washington State

Here is this year's message and, just because it touched my heart, here is last year's introduction of her son, Cole. He's really grown!

Of to go cry more, because it's so good that this caucus exists and because I wish my son was talking that much.

Words That Encourage

{I hope Heather never starts a cult because apparently I would drink whatever Kool-aid she asked me to.}

My Biscuit's Daddy,

I knew when I was 14 that I would never get married or have children. I was deathly afraid to have a daughter thanks to a not-so-great relationship with my mom, and didn't like myself enough to imagine anyone else would ever like me. Both of these things are lodged in my psyche so deeply that I still cannot believe that you proposed. True we had dated for about a decade, but I was still shocked. So shocked that apparently I didn't actually say "yes" aloud and forgot to take a picture of you, even though in my mind I did speak and I did take the photo. Maybe stunned and incapable of functioning would be a better way to put it.

Now here we are 5 years later. I'm not sorry that I made us wait 2 more years for our wedding because I worked very hard to get you a meadow in the moonlight like you wanted. And I think it was a beautiful night. If only you could remember that the word "obey" was not uttered during the ceremony. Perhaps you were stunned as I was when you proposed and just thought you heard it?

I still cannot believe the life that we have. Who could have guessed that an old biddy like me could get pregnant so easily? And that the perfect boy we had for 3 days would suddenly turn into one who would need those awful surgeries? That we would be strong enough to help him recover from them and to develop into the rowdy toddler he is today? That his sister would follow so soon? And that having two children would be so much different than having one?

I know that sometimes you feel I am not on the team and am questioning your decisions. I know that you feel I tell you that you are wrong too often and that I go into debate mode too easily. I will try to remember (and I hope you will too) that those beautiful kids are proof that I think you are right. I don't think you are wrong, I just want to make sure that all bases are covered when you make these big decisions. If you've already considered those points then great. I'm glad we had the Volvo and I'm glad we turned it in when the lease was up. I'm glad you quit that crappy job where they didn't appreciate you. Yes, it is scary to not be out there and earning my own money and to know that it is not only me that depends on you for a roof and food but our children do as well. But look at what you have done! You've taken a firm non-believer like me and made me a mom. I never could have imagined I would love being a mom so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you for seeing the potential in me and helping me to unlock it. If you can do that then in my eyes you can do ANYTHING. I will gladly follow you anywhere.

And now the whole world knows it (so I can't come back later and say I don't remember I said it).

Lumoi

Dove's Real Beauty Campaign: a new film

Again, obeying OMSH, I'm sharing this video with you. It's not one of the 2 she suggested, but it's the one that I like the best.

I still need to learn this lesson myself. Can't take a compliment to save my life if it's related to looks. Or my children's looks. So let's blame the beauty industry! Yeah!