Thanks to a link on Owlhaven I have found Antique Mommy. I had seen that name around before and thought that it was someone who was into antiques. No no. I’ve now read her about page and realize that she’s like me, a woman who when pregnant was of “advanced maternal age.”

Her story is full of trials and tribulations that I was spared. As I read I felt so fortunate that these 2 children came to us so easily. Maybe the delivery part was not what I wanted, but the conception was not clinical and didn’t involve drugs and surgeries and professionals, just some fun.

These last 4 weeks when we have been the parents of 2 kids have been harder in ways that I didn’t foresee. I forgot that I wouldn’t be able to lift anything over 20 pounds (and guess whose Biscuit weighs in at 21 pounds?). How could I have forgotten that restriction? Because it didn’t matter last time. We didn’t have anything over 20 pounds that I needed to lift. I think that has been the saddest part of bringing The Cupcake home and incorporating her into our family’s life. Poor Little Biscuit doesn’t understand when I say that Mommy has owe-ies and cannot pick him up. He just keeps reaching up his hands with a hopeful look on his face. I’ve finally given up trying to explain because the explanation always starts with “No, I can’t do that.” Now I just give him a big kiss. He’s still disappointed because it was not what he was trying to communicate, but he is happy for the kiss. So that’s something.

In addition to the stress I’m putting on my toddler, I am really struggling to learn what it is The Cupcake wants. I swear someone told this girl that she was going to be born into the British Monarchy and she is severely disappointed that she has to actually go to the bathroom, and in a diaper no less. I have figured out that when she is snuggled in my arms and starts looking terrified and gripping frantically at my hands (she is STRONG) that she’s peeing. That’s all, just a bit of pee and she is freaked out. I do believe we have a drama queen on our hands. At other times I can do everything and not be able to calm her down. I mean, she’s a month old, there aren’t many options here. Tummy? Full. Diaper? Dry. Sleepy? That must be it! So rock, and walk and nope, still screaming. Ack. It stresses me out so much more than with The Biscuit because I don’t want to wake him. And she’s doing this at 6am – I’m so not a morning person and here she is, inconsolable, in the early morning.

The only thing I feel sure of, that I have certainly deciphered correctly, is that when she wakes screaming from a deep sleep it is definitely a dirty diaper. I would be concerned that she was having a problem with the diapers or with the wipes, except that the diaper changes that happen when she is happy and full of milk are no problem. No yelling that she’s wet or poopy, no yelling because I’ve laid her down to change her diaper, no yelling that she doesn’t want to be wiped; just a happy, smiling, looking around at things little girl.

I hope I don’t feel this clueless when she’s a teenager (although I know I will).