I've pondered what to write other than, "Go read. Bear witness. Say their children's names. Learn how to be a help instead of making them feel invisible." Really that should be enough. You should go. But instead I've been pondering why it is so important to me. Why do I feel so drawn to
this group?
Two things came to me this afternoon:
- My dad's aunt and uncle, who raised him and his brother, had a son of their own who died of SIDS. As the story goes, one Easter morning they got up and the baby was blue.
- My mom's mom either had one or two babies before my eldest uncle (depends on who is telling the story). As it is there is an 18-year gap between the oldest and the youngest of my aunts/uncles. If the first baby had lived there would have been 20 years.
So the loss that draws me to these women's stories is not just the grieving for the perfect son that I thought we had for 2 days, but there is also a desire to understand these two women that were such a big part of my life.
Kath, thanks so much for the encouragement and the kind words.. we're happy to have you with us.
ReplyDeleteK, I'm not sure if you get these comments from way back, but just want to thank you so much for reading and commenting on GITW. I read parts of your blog a while back -- can't remember how I got here originally. And I must say, I'm drawn to your story as much as you are to mine. I don't do God, but I don't know a better phrase but "There but for the grace of god go I." It could've been me. I could've easily been you. I could've, save one less problem, been writing a grief blog of another sort entirely. And I'm not sure what to do with my compassion and reluctance to tell you (and others) of that feeling. I don't play easier/worse, I think each is different, but certainly worthy of joy and mourning each in its own right.
ReplyDeleteYour comments on the last post of mine were much appreciated, and I'll remember them the next time I feel compelled to tell my story.
It's a story I never thought I'd be part of.
ReplyDelete